how to create a self image so powerful, reality has to obey

00:00All right. Hello and welcome to this training. As you can see from the title, what we're going to be covering today is how to create a self-image so powerful reality has to obey. And as you can see from the overview, what we're going to be discussing more specifically is first the overview itself, the unchosen verdict, assuming the new self, hardening the assumption, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days.

00:22So without further ado, let's get started and talk about the unchosen verdict. So, back in 2017, two Stanford researchers named Octavia Zart and Ali Crumb ran the kind of study that should honestly be way more famous than it is. They pulled together survey data on more than 60,000 adults and tracked what happened to them over the next two decades.

00:45And what they found pretty much flips how much most of us how most of us think about cause and effect. The whole thing hinged on one simple question that they asked people, which was basically whether you'd say you're more active, less active, or about as active as others your age.

01:00And that was it. One little self-rating. And notice that it's not asking what you actually do. It's not asking whether you are active. It's asking what you think about what you do. So people answered it casually the way you'd answer anything on a form.

01:16So nobody was performing or overthinking their reply. And that's what makes it so useful because it caught the real underlying belief. And then they looked at who was still alive years down the road. And the pattern was pretty hard to ignore.

01:31People who figured they were less active than their peers had a 71% higher risk of dying than the people who saw themselves as more active. It was the same span of years, but very different odds. Now, you'd think that this is just fit people outliving unfit people, plain and simple.

01:48But that's the twist. the effect held even after they accounted for how much everyone actually moved. So two people with the exact same activity, one who felt active and one who felt lazy, didn't get the same outcome, which tells you the belief itself was doing the real work, right?

02:06Not just reflecting the facts underneath it. The story these people told themselves about their own body somehow leaked into how those bodies aged and their self-image was rewriting their biology. And by the way, once again, we're talking tens of thousands of people followed for up to 21 years.

02:24When a pattern holds that steady across that many lives for that long, it almost reads like a law. Now, part of why these verdicts last so long is that they show up looking like objectivity. You don't experience I'm not the successful type as a belief.

02:38You experience it as just reading the room correctly. And that's the trick because a verdict you mistake for a fact is one that you'll never really think to question. And it always feels like you're just being honest with yourself, like you're the realist in the room who sees things clearly.

02:53But a lot of what we call clear honesty is really a conclusion we stopped examining. Honesty about the facts and loyalty to a verdict feel identical from the inside. Worse, the verdict starts feeling like a core part of who you are. So questioning it feels almost like betraying yourself, almost like questioning yourself.

03:14And that's how it protects itself, by hiding inside your sense of identity. You defend it like it's you when really it's just a habit of thought that you picked up. And there's even a strange comfort in the old verdict because at least it's familiar and it asks nothing new of you, right?

03:32A low opinion of yourself can feel safer than the risk of expecting more and getting let down. So, we cling to it not because it's true, but because it's known, it's familiar. And sometimes it can even be comforting because it's familiar. But where did this verdict even come from?

03:48Because you almost certainly didn't author it. Most of these self-conclusions got installed young by people and moments that you actually barely remember, and then you just kept renewing it. The first step to really dismantling it is to see that it was handed to you rather than chosen by you.

04:07So, a throwaway comment from a parent or a teacher or a kid in the schoolyard and suddenly a verdict got planted and you've carried that for 10, 20, 30 years and you absorbed it before you had any defense against it, before you even had any logical defense against it, let alone emotional.

04:26So, you believed whatever you were told about yourself at that time and you've been obeying it ever since. And life seemed to basically repeat that lesson because now every stumble looks like proof that the verdict is right. So it got reinforced again and again until it felt carved in stone.

04:50But repetition of a lie just makes a familiar lie, not a true one. Right? And the freeing part is that an inherited verdict, an inherited self-image can be returned the same way you'd return something that was never really yours to begin with.

05:04You don't owe loyalty to a conclusion the 10-year-old version of you accepted on bad evidence. The moment you realize you can actually hand it back, you're already halfway out. And nobody's coming to give you permission to think better of yourself, for example, right?

05:18Which means you have to grant it to yourself. And even if they did, even if people did give you permission, it wouldn't mean anything because ultimately deep down you're looking for that permission from yourself. So why does any of this matter to you sitting there watching this?

05:34Because the same quiet verdict is running underneath and everything else you do, right? And everything else in general. Think about the version of you that's filed yourself under bad with money. Like it's just a fixed fact about you. For example, right?

05:50That verdict then shapes which opportunities you even reach for, whether you even try to save money. You talk yourself out of rooms you're qualified to walk into. And it shows up as the email you don't send, the business you don't start, the raise you don't ask for, the person you don't ask on a date, all of it justified as being realistic.

06:09But realism is often just an old self-image. You might rationalize it as caution when it's really a belief about who you are. And over time, that quiet not the money type assumption, for example, becomes a ceiling that you stop noticing because you've lived under it for so long, it feels like the sky.

06:26And that's the assumption hardening into fact. Persist in it and life politely agrees. And watch closely and you'll catch the verdict wrecking things right when they start working because deep down it can't let you outgrow it. Right? This is your self-image.

06:42And you can't outgrow your self-image. You'll overspend. You'll underpric or you'll walk away from the good thing. All to keep the old story intact. And the belief would rather be right than let you win. And same thing happens in relationships where so many people carry a buried verdict that they're too much or somehow not enough.

07:09Whatever you've decided about your own love ability tends to become true. And people feel the verdict you're broadcasting. Even when you say nothing, people can see what your self-image is. And people will look at how you treat yourself and treat you accordingly.

07:27And it steers who you chase, who you settle for, and who you write off as out of your league. And none of that feels like a belief in the moment. It just feels like the plain truth, right? But it's a choice you made once and you forgot you made it.

07:42And then and then life hands you experiences that seem to actually confirm the verdict, which only digs it in deeper. So the belief keeps feeding itself a steady diet of evidence. And that's the loop we're here to break. So underneath money and love sits the deepest one of all.

08:03The self-image about whether you're you're the kind of person things tend to work out for. And that single assumption colors how you read every outcome in your life. Win or lose, you bend the meaning to fit the story you already hold. And two people get the exact same break.

08:21And one calls it luck while the other calls it the start of something. All based on the image underneath. So your self opinion is the lens and the lens decides what you even see. And if you change the lens the same life starts reading completely differently.

08:35And this is the master verdict, the master self-image, the one feeding the money story and the love story and all the rest. If you get this one wrong, it will poison everything downstream. If you get it right, the whole system starts to shift at once.

08:50So let's actually talk about assuming the new self. So if an opinion can move something as stubborn as your lifespan, then the obvious question is what happens when you change the op opinion on purpose. And this is where we start rebuilding.

09:07Seeing the pattern means nothing if you keep living by the old one. The good news is you assigned the label in the first place which means you've got every right to reassign it. And the first thing you need to do is to start catching the self-t talk in the act.

09:21Most of these opinions about yourself come out in moments where you barely notice them. They hide inside throwaway lines you say a 100 times a day without even paying attention. So you've got to start treating those lines as data. Listen for the little tells.

09:38The I'm just not discip I'm not I'm just not a disciplined person. The money's always been tight for people like me. The I always attract the wrong ones. Almost any sentence starting with a word I that functions as a description of yourself needs to be examined.

09:54And each one is a verdict pretending to be a fact. And every time you repeat it, you sign the renewal contract. So pay attention to how you c how casually you actually say them almost fondly like they're just part of your personality. And it's that casualness that is exactly what makes them so dangerous because you never stop to question them.

10:13We defend the beliefs we've stopped noticing. And the more you've said a line, the more it feels settled and obvious, which is the trap. Familiarity gets mistaken for truth all the time. So the goal is to make the familiar feel strange again.

10:30And once you start hearing them, you can't unhear them. And that's the whole point of this step. You begin to notice the verdict casting its vote in real time right before you shrink back or play small. That gap between the thought and the action is really where your power is.

10:44And in that pause, you finally get a choice you didn't have before because the belief was invisible. Now it's on the table naked and you get to decide whether to keep it. So ask yourself if you actually chose this verdict or if you just inherited it and never returned it.

11:03Nine times out of 10, you'll find it was handed to you. And then comes the deliberate part where you consciously hand yourself a new verdict to live from. And no, I'm not talking about some fake positivity or chanting at the mirror. It's rather picking the self-image you're going to assume is true and operate from.

11:23So, same mechanism the study caught, just pointed somewhere better. And you don't wait to feel like a disciplined, capable, lovable person before you assume you are one. You assume it first and let the feeling catch up because that's the order it actually works in.

11:40So carry yourself like it's just plain fact in how you speak and how you decide and how you show up. The body and the choices come into line with whatever self you're assuming. And that's the machinery the Stanford data exposed. Hold the same assumption across money, love, and work.

11:57instead of only being confident in one area of your life. And you'll see how all of these areas start changing because a divided self-image leaks, right? You want a new fact running everywhere at once. And then get clear on the exact self you're assuming.

12:13Describe the person you're actually becoming. Write it down somewhere. And the more detailed the picture, the easier it is to step into. And decide how this new self walks, talks, spends, and responds when things go sideways down to the small stuff.

12:28because those details are going to be the costume you put on until it stops being a costume. And specifics are really what make the new identity feel real. And if you're a bit more creative or just want to play around with this, one thing you could do is to research how writers develop characters for their books and you're essentially doing the same thing.

12:47You're describing a new character you're going to be stepping into and treating it as a fact. But the most important thing that will make the new character feel real is that you've got to act from it before it feels true, not after. So behavior is the loudest voice you can cast for a new self-image.

13:08It's way louder than anything you tell yourself in your head. So you let the actions of the person you're becoming come first, and you let the feeling arrive late. And every time you behave like the version of you you're embodying, you hand your own mind a piece of evidence it can't easily dismiss.

13:26And the belief starts having a track record. And a self-image with receipts is a lot harder to argue with. So it will feel fake and uncomfortable at first, which is exactly the sign that you're actually doing it right. Because the old self is supposed to protest.

13:43That friction isn't a warning to stop. It really It's just the gap between who you were and who you're assuming you are. So, you need to push through it enough times and then the new self will stop feeling borrowed. And then one day you act from the new verdict without having to force it.

13:58And that's when you know it's taking root. Each aligned action makes the next one easier and the old self quieter. Now, what you rehearse in imagination is also what you're quietly assuming is true. So before you can act from the new self, it can help to live a scene of it in your mind vividly as if it already happened.

14:22So pick a short simple scene that would only be real if the new self were already true, like a friend congratulating you or a glance in the mirror that finally feels right. And then just run it again and again and again until it feels natural and lived in.

14:38And try to incorporate all five senses. And you're not picturing the future. You're remembering it forward. So keep in mind, one vivid run is not really enough. The same way one healthy meal doesn't make you healthy. So you need to return to the scene daily until it feels more true than the doubt.

14:58And persistence in the visualization is just persistence in the assumption. So what you're really doing here is changing who you believe you are, not just what you're trying to get. Goals chase outcomes, but identity changes the person, the outcomes happen, too.

15:14And life tends to deliver to the person. For example, when you assume you're the type that works out and eats healthy, you start working out and eating healthy, and the results follow. The outcomes you're after arrive because your behavior has changed.

15:30And your behavior has changed because the self underneath it has changed. That's how a belief becomes a life. And you also start reading events through the new self-image. So a setback becomes a detour instead of more proof that you're doomed.

15:46Same event, totally different meaning. Totally different next action. The story you hold decides what the moment means. Like Tony Robbins says, "Change your story, change your life." So people respond to the self you're assuming because they're reading the self-image you carry.

16:01If you walk in as the new self, the room treats treats you accordingly and people treat you accordingly. Your self-image leaks out of everything you say or do. And when you show people how you treat yourself, they're going to trust you that you should be treated that way.

16:19And they're going to treat you that way, too. So, with that said, let's talk about hardening the assumption. So, a new self-image that shows up for one afternoon and then fades by dinner changes absolutely nothing, right? and it doesn't change it in your body or anywhere else for that matter.

16:37The whole idea is really holding the assumption long enough that it starts feeling like a fact. So remember the study tracked people for up to 21 years which is a brutal but useful reminder of how this really works. So these verdicts didn't shape lives in a weekend, right?

16:53They did it through years of quiet repetition. So you have to respect the the time scale that belief actually runs on. And that means you keep assuming the new self even when life hasn't caught up yet because the lag is normal. The old self-image took years to harden.

17:09So you need to give the new one room to do the same. Rushing it is how people quit right before it actually starts working. And you're essentially trusting a result you can't see yet, which is the hardest kind of trust there is. But that's literally what persistence in an assumption means.

17:27Hold it before the proof, not after. And if you find this hard, keep in mind you already do this all the time. You already trust invisible outcomes all day long without calling it faith. You board a plane trusting an engine that you've never inspected yourself.

17:41You swallow a pill trusting chemistry that you can't see really working inside you. And you leave your money in a bank trusting a number on a screen. So the capacity is already in you. And you're really doing all you're really doing now is applying that same trust to your own self-image.

18:00So say the new verdict, live the new verdict, decide from the new verdict over and over until it's automatic. Repetition is what moved the needle in the data. And that's what will it will what will move it for you. Boring maybe, but that's the mechanism.

18:15Now, one thing to watch out for is the slow slide back. So the old self-image doesn't leave easily. It waits. Under stress especially, you'll feel yourself reaching for the familiar self-image like an old coat. So, you need to catch the drift early and steer back before it grabs a hold of you.

18:33And when you notice you've slipped, you don't beat yourself up because if you do, you're really just hardening the old self-image. You just calmly reassign the new self-image again. The skill isn't about never slipping up because it's impossible.

18:48It's a coming back to your choice fast, to what you choose fast. Every return makes the new self a little more default. And one thing most people skip is that you don't have to hold the new self-image on willpower alone. You can stack your surroundings to do the some of the work, right?

19:05The voices you listen to, the people you sit with, the inputs you feed yourself, all of them brainwash you for one self-image or another. So you want to build a world that keeps reminding you of the new you, even on the days you forget. And be honest about what you're actually letting in.

19:26A steady diet of doom and people like us never make it will undoubtedly sabotage you the whole way. And what you consume becomes what you assume more than we like to admit. So curate the inputs and you protect the belief. And treat your attention like a diet.

19:45Since your mind is basically digesting everything you feed it, swap the inputs that put you down for the ones that confirm the new self. And over weeks, that change in mental diet will also show up as a change in self-image. And the company you keep matters even more.

20:03And I've said this many times, but other people reflect a version of you back at you constantly. So spend enough time around people who see you as the new self and that reflection starts feeling normal. Surround yourself with the right mirrors and the verdict almost holds itself.

20:20And notice who pulls you back towards the old story and who calls the new self forward because both of those types of people are shaping you. You become the average of the opinions the people around you hold about you. So choose your mirrors on purpose.

20:34And here's a little practice that punches way above its weight, which is using the drowsy minutes right before sleep to plant the new self-image. In that soft half asleep state, your guard is down and suggestions sink in deeper than they do all day.

20:48And Neville Goddard called something close to this the most fertile ground there is. And I think he's right. So, as you drift off, hold the new self. Maybe a short visualization or a single mantra that you just say as if it's already true. Just let it be the last thing your mind is actually holding.

21:06Because whatever you fall asleep assuming tends to get a little more hardened by the morning. And if you do it one night, it's nothing. But if you do it every night, it becomes a slow, steady drip that puts the new self-image into place. And it's almost effortless, which is exactly why people underrate it.

21:23But if you stack enough nights like this, you will wake up as some someone slightly new. Now once the assumption holds steady in one area, you'll feel it want to spread and you should let it. And the same patient repetition that reshaped how you see your discipline will start reshaping your money, your love and your self-worth, too.

21:41It's one self-image underneath all of them. So strengthening it anywhere strengthens it everywhere. So confidence you build in your work quietly bleeds into how you show up in your relationships because it's the same you. And that's the upside of a unified self-image.

21:56The winds compound across your whole life. One self, many rooms. In each area that starts agreeing with a new self makes the next one easier to convince. So proof stacks and the assumption gets harder to shake. And that's the loop working for you now instead of against you.

22:14And eventually the new self stops needing constant defense because life keeps handing you evidence for it. It settles into the background the way the old one used to. And that's exactly when it's truly yours. So with that said, let's cover the review.

22:28We covered the overview, the unchosen verdict, assuming the new self, hardening the assumption, the review, and finally your action items for the day or the next few days. First, spend one full day hunting the self-image you've been carrying across money, love, and worth, and write down every casual line you catch yourself repeating.

22:48Then pick the new self- image you're going to assume as true. And then start carrying yourself from that today before you feel ready and before the proof shows up. And then finally, run a short vivid scene of the new self every night as you fall asleep.

23:02Return to it fast every time you drift and hold it long enough that life finally starts agreeing with it. With that said, I hope you enjoyed this. If you did, let me know. If you want to work with me oneonone, make sure to book a call from the link in the description.

23:15Again, if you want this document along with this training, then make sure to join the free community from the link in the description. And if you want weekly newsletters helping you improve every aspect of your life, then make sure to join the free newsletter again from the link in the description.

23:28With that said, thank you for being here. Thank you for watching and I'll see you in the next