You Aren't Successful Because You Care Too Much (How To Stop)

Your Future, Their Opinions

00:00You stop caring about others opinions when you trust yourself with your future. That is a lot to unpack. Lack of confidence is the one thing that plagues the potential of the majority of the population. They care too much about what others think.

00:14Let's say you want to start a business and the thoughts start to flood in. What will my parents think? What will my friends think? What will my spouse think? Will it be enough to replace my income? How long will it take? And don't even get me started on the thoughts that start coming when you actually start building the business.

00:30The reason people fail is they can't lift the emotional weights required to achieve the goals they set for every thought of a better life. There are 100 negative thoughts beating you back down, and that's just about business. What about the other 60 to 80000 thoughts that humans have on average every day?

00:47We have a lot on our plate. Will they come off as weird when I try to make new friends? Where will I end up in life if I don't get my debt under control? Did I feed the dog this morning? Imagine how terrible of a pet owner people will think I am if they found out.

01:00Developing self-confidence is no easy task. More information, more responsibilities, and more options for future turns. Confidence into success and anxiety into failure. This is the modern environment that we live in. So how do we start to cultivate that self trust that leads to self-confidence?

The 4 Pillars Of Self-Confidence

01:18The four pillars of self-confidence. First is perspective. So you can realize that nobody is special. The second is perception. So you can act on opportunities. The third is practice. So you don't shy away from challenge. In the fourth is authenticity, so you don't conform to others opinions.

01:35When most people wonder how they can start to become more confident, they're reminded of the simplistic advice. Confidence equals competence. So they'll learn and learn, never act, never self-reflect, and never actually develop confidence as a skill in any situation.

01:50This is the most common outcome. There is depth behind that simple statement that people can't see. So we must seek to understand that statement because clearly confidence equals competence. As general advice has not fixed the biggest problem in the world, but it has made it worse.

Pillar 1: Perspective

02:05So pillar one is perspective. When you enter a new situation where you don't feel confident, anxiety shoots through the roof. This closes your mind to everything but your thoughts. They multiply. You completely retract from the situation and become a slave to your past.

02:20You focus too much on the experiences you've had before. Pull those feelings into the present moment and you remain the same person. By not breaking that cycle. You have to snap out of this and make a conscious effort to reprogram your way of habitually acting to situations.

02:37To do this when you enter a situation and in zero sparks pause. Zoom out to see the situation for what it is. It's just a normal situation. Transfer consciousness to those in the situation with you. Transferring consciousness is adopting another person's perspective because most people are just living the same experience as us.

02:56Billionaires or people with the same problems. Fitness models are people with the same problems. Any person you mentally place above you has the same problems. The one thing that will make them react in a negative way to you is treating them as if they aren't a normal person just like you.

03:12And so when you come off with a lack of confidence in a situation to other people, you're not getting a negative reaction because you're overly confident or you're good at being yourself. It's because of the opposite. They can sense that something is off and that you are unconfident or that you're projecting into this imaginary future of where that situation will lead.

03:31And remember that this is a habit you are forming, is pausing, zooming out and gaining perspective. It will take practice and repetition in real life. This one video isn't going to fix it immediately for you and you cannot advance to the other pillars that we're going to talk about without first trying to adopt this as a habit.

Pillar 2: Perception

03:49So pillar number two is perception. How you perceive situations determines how you act. This requires that you shift to an open minded state before and maintain it during the situation. If you're scrolling social media and don't perceive a business owners tweet as an opportunity to reach out, you won't reach out and you won't make money if you don't land him as a client.

04:09That's in the case of like freelancing. If you do see it as an opportunity, you still may botch the message or not Send one at all because you misperceive that individual. The same goes for making new friends and engaging in new situations.

04:21And perception goes two ways here, right, people? You have to be able to see beyond how people present themselves or how they are holding themselves. Like there's an example at the apartment complex here. When I first moved in, I well, first off, I'm just very stoic to begin with.

04:36I'm very like straight. I'm going to do what I'm going to do if I'm going outside to go on a walk, I'm going outside to go on a walk. And so when I was passing by, people and I just was blinding. And as I passed them and they're like, hi. And I was just like, Oh, hey, what's up?

04:52And then I kept walking. But after talking to that person, later meeting them, like after they would mention, they would always mention that I'm very, like, intimidating, like they don't want to say anything because I feel they feel like I'm so focused on something.

05:07But in my mind, the people say, Hi, I'm perfectly fine with it. I'll stop and I'll have the conversation and I'll be upbeat and happy about it. But you have to be able to perceive the situation in a sense where you can act regardless of how the other person is going to respond to it.

05:20And you need to understand that most people are going to respond positively to you interacting with them. And this is what I mean by perception goes two ways here where if you do not present yourself in a way that is either welcoming or getting across the vibe you want to get across, this is why how you look.

05:36Going to the gym, wearing clothes that fit you and etc., etc. That's going to determine how people perceive you. So when you perceive the situation to go in an act that you don't look like a total creep that doesn't have any control over their life.

05:49So you have to be someone they actually want to talk to.

Pillar 3: Practice

05:52So pillar number three is practice. How good you are at something allows you to perceive situations better. Think of skill acquisition as a way to increase your level in the game of life. In a video game. There are skill trees as you play the game, you choose skills to help you play how you want.

06:08As you practice those skills, you increase your experience and new skills become available to you. The key point here is that you are not able to access other skills until you practice the ones available to you. You don't have the awareness of profitable opportunities because you don't have the skill to recognize, choose and act on them.

06:27Because if you're entering a social situation and you don't have the social skills, one, you're going to have to practice at your level and work your way up. But at the same time, when you are more social and when you have more experience there, and when you've overcame that initial beginner's hell hump, then you're able to perceive the situation for what it is.

06:46Because you've experienced that situation so many times before and you know how to inject yourself into it in a confident manner. So as you move towards your goals that relate to confidence, whether it be starting a business, just going to the gym, talking to a new person, getting a new friend group, it will require that you educate yourself as you are pursuing those goals.

07:05You need to have information coming in through the filter of you achieving those goals. I don't know how to explain it aside from just pattern recognition in the brain where if I'm trying to talk to new people and I'm listening to audio books or anything on social skills, then I have something fresh in my mind to experiment with and practice with.

07:26The same goes with going to the gym and every single habit you have in your life, every single thing I do that I believe every single person should do pertaining to their body and the things that they have ownership over, like going to the gym, starting a business, developing a skill set or mindset, and cultivating good relationships in your life.

07:45You should have a rotation of information. You shouldn't even consider reading or consuming anything that doesn't contribute to those goals. Now, of course, entertainment is another thing. If you want to go and watch Netflix to like wind down during the night, that's perfectly fine.

08:00What I'm saying is that like in the morning, rather than distracting yourself and scrolling on your phone all day, you should have information going into your mind that you need to have inputs that contribute to the outputs that you want to do on a daily basis.

08:12The reason I'm so far ahead in many areas of my life is that I never stop learning about the gym. I haven't reached a point where I know everything at least once a day. I'm listening to a 1020 minute YouTube video on fitness and business and mindset and spirituality and philosophy all mixed.

08:27Not every day you get what I'm saying. There's constant flow of energy week by week going into me that I can use to experiment with and get better results on my goals. This isn't really optional. This is the main thing that I see people failing with, is that they go, they pursue something, they achieve a goal.

08:43They're starting to maintain it like a nice body. But then it never it just becomes repetitive and mundane. You have nothing new to experiment with. You have no good dopamine going into your head because you've stopped learning. And so with this, with your current skill, what you know and what you've learned about you have to play at your level.

09:02You have to get results at that specific level until you can get to the next level. And so the best way that I can illustrate this is in business, as your level increases, you will fill your tool belt with skills that allow you to view the plane you are on, which is more vast than the lower level you were at.

09:17My first successful endeavor was freelance web design. A single skill that is available for anyone to learn. Lots of competition and battling for high prices. I knew that if I wanted to do something more profitable, like funnels for service businesses, I would have to learn skills like marketing, copywriting and buyer's journey to do that.

09:34Well, then when I pursued the level of a creator. So after freelance web design and funnels for service businesses, I went into marketing, consulting and becoming a creator. I needed to combine what I knew and add skills like content writing.

09:49I needed to add all of the skills that I teach into a writer, the ones that actually get businesses results. Because a creator is a full stack business. If you can build a creator business, you're going to have to learn all the skills that transfer over into helping others build theirs.

10:01This is why I recommend building a creator business or just a personal brand and displaying your character in the virtual reality and contributing to virtual humanity is because you can learn web design, graphic design, copywriting, content writing, branding.

10:15Literally every skill that makes a business successful is going to be necessary for you to understand from the big picture to make your personal brand successful. And once you actually get results, if you don't already have a product that you want to create to monetize because you have all of the knowledge to do so, you can go and work for another business as a freelancer and make ten times more money than the person who's just like, Oh, I want to learn web design as a skill and target this person and send a bunch of cold emails to them.

10:39You don't have any experience you're going to lose from the start because you're not practicing on building your own business

Pillar 4: Authenticity

10:44and getting results. So pillar number four is authenticity. Authenticity is doing what you want without interference from external thoughts, opinions and beliefs that you feel the need to conform to you. One example is that just me cursing occasionally in videos, right where I'll get a comment that it's like, you shouldn't say that that's unprofessional, that's ungodly.

11:03And I don't believe that at all. I've zoomed out. I was raised heavily religious and it was forced on me, Hey, do not say these words. And so when I questioned it and I researched and I actually thought for myself, I realized this isn't bad in any remote sense.

11:18If people get turned off by one word because they have so many connotations attached to it, it's just a word. If you get turned off and don't want to watch it, please do. So leave. Fucking leave because I don't care to be professional. I don't care to be offended by words that every single person interprets in a different way.

11:35Confidence through authenticity is a mental game. You must play it daily. You must pause, game, perspective, perceive the situation and practice the skill that the situation requires. Authenticity is how you implement the four pillars of self-confidence.

11:51So now how do we get to self-confidence? We need a path, and I want to present an unconventional one.

The Unconventional Path To Self-Confidence

11:56The secret to self-confidence is to become a fountainhead of value through education and creation. You don't have to question your worth when you have public proof. Entrepreneurship is in your nature to pursue new challenges. Never settle, expand your perspective through skill acquisition and get feedback on if you are actually contributing to society in the form of money.

12:16Entrepreneurship is creation, and being a creator is the act of channeling the divine through your human edge. You don't want to get stuck in a situation where challenge ceases to exist like a monkey in a cubicle. Your psyche will suffer and you will wonder why your life isn't fulfilling.

12:31Even if you are a top 1% earner. Personal growth is a gateway drug into business growth, and business growth is the unconventional path to self-confidence. I combine the two in digital economics so you can improve yourself, productize yourself and earn from being yourself a natural progression.

12:49So why is business growth or entrepreneurship or being a creator or just providing value? Because that's all those things are, is providing value and receiving the value that you want in the form of money. How does that develop self-confidence?

13:03First is it demands that you evolve or die. Most people die at 25. They get their job, they get their spouse, they get their house, they get their car, they get exactly what society wants from them. Someone who is comfortable, docile, and of little threat to their system.

13:18They are trying to survive. Life is ever flowing, ever evolving. And if you choose to obstruct that flow by settling for a subpar life, you're dead. Death is symbolic and all understanding is metaphorical. If life is growth and growth requires new death is the death of new ideas, potentials, projects and practices.

13:37If you want to survive in a world that never stops changing, entrepreneurship ensures that you don't. If you persist until success, that is reason number two is that it forces you to become an expert in your industry. If you have subpar understanding, you will get subpar results.

13:54Understanding is different from knowledge. Understanding is the upward motion of expanding consciousness. Meditation is the downward motion of expanding consciousness. Most mystics and spiritual teachers forget this balance. It's not creativity or productivity.

14:09It's not monk or warrior. It's not peace or progress. It's not being or doing. It's both. It's life. The duality collapses into one. If you stack theory without practice, you will fail. In this business, you need both daily education and execution, not one or the other.

14:26Reason number three is it demands you get results for yourself and your customers. If you don't get results, you aren't valuable. Simple as that. If you aren't getting results that isn't designed to quit, it's a sign to improve. True value requires development over time.

14:41Entrepreneurship is how you ensure that you develop yourself into a valuable asset in reality. Reason number four is that it demands that you suck at what you're doing so that you can improve. It is foolish to think that you will not suck out almost everything at the start.

14:55This is what keeps most people from acting on their dreams. Once you overcome the first hump, you snowball into a season of pure progress. Reason number five is that it demands that you change your work, rest and play habits. You cannot reach level two with the character that got you to level one.

15:10Growth requires change, and that's why most people settle early. Reason number six is that it demands a skill set with a psychology base so you understand your mind and therefore the minds of other people, because this is all that business is.

15:24Is you communicating with other people the value that you have to offer and them giving you something in return. Marketing, sales, writing and speaking are the backbone of business success that will be in the next video. I'm redoing the million dollar skill stack video.

15:37In today's world, wealth is generated through code and content code is the back end of the internet. Content is the frontend combine both and you have people and a product send people to product and you have profit. You can learn to code, which is incredibly valuable, but unless that is a passion of yours, you're better off learning content you can build using what the coders build, like website builders, social media platforms and everything else on the internet.

16:00To distribute your content. Content requires self understanding. You must capture attention and hold attention and deliver value to that attention. So business is the unconventional path to self-confidence, and there are so many different business models, so many different ways of going about this.

16:15And so I'd like to go over the one that worked for me, the one that I feel like applies to a lot of people that just want to turn their interests into income and people that don't want to stick to a status niche. They want to they want to be the niche.

16:27They want to display themselves and earn a living doing what they enjoy. That is more than possible with the Internet nowadays.

A Potential Progression For Self-Improvers

16:35So let's go over a potential progression for self improvers. Build your mind with books, self-reflection and writing. Build your body with the gym, long walks and nutrient dense foods. Build your business with skill acquisition, problem solving and self-promotion, becoming multidimensional.

16:50Each act is the path to the good life. That was another tweet of mine. I feel like it was pretty fitting. I'm going to make a video on that as well. Becoming multidimensional Jacked. The anxiety trap is dangerous when you attempt to become more confident, you get anxious approaching new people.

17:05You get anxious about the change required to build a business when you feel it pours. No, seriously, this is going to take a conscious effort. Pause, zoom out, reframe your mind. The cure to anxiety is curiosity. That's it. That's the reframe.

17:18When you're anxious about starting a business, you're projecting so far into the future that clarity is near impossible. Your mind cannot bring order to the chaotic situation you are in. Bring your attention back to what you can do right now.

17:30Be curious about what you can start learning. Then learn it when you are in a social situation. Stop imagining every little detail about the future with that person. Focus your attention on them right in front of you. What is something that catches your eye?

17:43Ask them about it. Here's how you can leverage Curiosity more to build momentum into a profitable business with self-confidence as a byproduct.

Start With Writing

17:51Step one is, of course, as always, to start with writing as you guys know, or if you are new here. I'm not a fan of like, methods and tactics. I'm a fan of principles. Writing, speaking, marketing and sales are absolute principles that you will have to learn no matter which business model you go into.

18:09I don't care if you are super interested in email marketing that's writing. I don't care if you're super interested in advertising that's writing. I don't care if you're super interested in YouTube. The script is writing. Writing is the most valuable skill, especially when paired with marketing and sales.

18:24When you aren't confident, writing is your best bet and it's the foundation of any and all content, tweets, ads, videos, reels, etc. all start with writing the actual post or script. And it feels weird because I won't be able to say tweets anymore when I kind of built my entire business on Twitter.

18:42So X, if you're up to date, I feel like everyone is, but X is the new wave I have high hopes for. I'm still going to be on there. Everything still applies based on what I talk about. If you watch any of my previous videos on me talking about Twitter, it transfers over to any platform.

18:58Writing allows you to flex your intelligence while everyone else competes for looks. You don't have to show your body or even your face for that matter. Orange book on X or Twitter is one of my favorite anonymous writers. Go follow him. Just look up Orange book.

19:11It's like an Orange book underscore. He's definitely one of the people that I like to emulate when it comes to my voice, right? Because he also writes very stoic or that's the way that I think about it. Very pithy, very philosophical. He isn't one of the only ones that I emulate or try to be like, but he's one that has kind of nailed that tone.

19:29And I really like that. To become a good writer, you will need to understand psychology, to structure a message that captures, holds and spreads attention, to understand psychology, study marketing and sales. That's how you learn to apply your psychological understanding in the real world.

19:44If I were to give you a path, here's how to start writing. One is choose a topic you're interested in making your full time gig to is to block out 30 minutes to learn about marketing, sales or your interests. Three is do not skip a day of learning, Watch videos, podcasts, read books and internet content.

20:01Four is to take notes on the ideas that stick out to you. Five is start on Twitter or X or threads and start posting your ideas. Six is to study social media as a skill so you can grow. I teach all of this into a writer in the course of three or six months.

20:16If you actually try to grow your account, you should gain a decent amount of followers, at least enough to give you the confidence that you can make it a full time business. Because even if, let's say in three months you gain 500 followers, you gain 500 followers.

20:30If you could repeat that and improve that, then how do you see yourself failing? If you can gain one follower, you can gain a million. You just have to learn how to replicate that process and make it more efficient. Once you have enough readers, you can create a product or service to monetize your writing.

20:45The marketing and sales knowledge will compound at this moment.

Branch Into Speaking

20:48So step number two is to branch into speaking. Most people don't know this, but the first platform that I branched out to was not something like Instagram or LinkedIn. It was podcasting. I started, I grew on Twitter, grew to like 50,000 followers.

21:01And then at that point I started a podcast. But why? It helped me meet high level people and get offered more opportunities. You don't need video editing skills. It is an easy progression from writing. It forces you to identify your blindspots in communicating with other people.

21:16I didn't use a podcast to monetize or become famous because one that's incredibly rare with podcasting, especially since I was just starting out and I would have had to make the podcast the main thing that I wanted to be known for, if that was the case.

21:29But I used it to get people that I wanted to talk to and ask questions to on a call. And that made them closer to me. As an example, I wanted to talk to Justin Welsh, and so we got on a podcast, we talked, I uploaded to YouTube, people loved it and it actually gave me an angle for my content that led to me gaining 150,000 subscribers on YouTube.

21:48In however much time. If I wanted to, I could reach out to higher and higher level people to get them on the podcast, and then I'm connected with them and they will help me grow in whatever manner I need. The difference between a 500 follower count and a 500,000 follower count isn't necessarily their followers.

22:04Yes, that's a big difference, but it's the connections that they have for that 500,000 follower account. They probably met 50 to 100 high level people that you will never, ever, ever meet in your real life. You have access to so many more opportunities that consumers don't see because it's behind the scenes.

22:21You're talking to people over text. You have such a wide network of people with diverse skill sets that you can never fail once you reach a certain point.

Create A Product Or Service

22:30So step number three after writing Growing an audience and then branching into speaking, nurturing the audience is to create a product or service. Because by now you're growing an audience. You have people. Well, hopefully if you don't, you need to zoom out and realize it's a skill issue.

22:45You need a big picture understanding of social media to get eyes on good content however you can. Money requires people and a product product can also include services. Here it is. What you sell to people you've attracted. This is the only way to make money.

23:00You can aim to be one of the select few that lives off of ad revenue generated from the social media platform alone. But you will be a slave to the algorithm. Creating your own product or service is how you take control of your income. Social media, as a skill becomes a faucet that you can turn on whenever you want to make more money.

23:16You know how to attract people and you have a product that sells. There's a lot that goes into both. You will need to improve at both. I've written about this extensively, so a few videos that you can watch is an overview of the one person business model.

23:30So there's the one person business model and the one person business model 2.0. The best way to create an offer as a beginner where I talk about the minimum viable offer that's found in the best business model to start in 2023 to make $1,000,000 or something like that got me in the thumbnail, like looking like this or something.

23:47And then the last one, How to create a product. So you have $100,000 trapped in your head or $100,000 in your head. I don't know, because the reason building a product or service helps with confidence is that you will suck. At first. This is the case for literally anything else you do.

24:02Don't see it as scary just because business seems foreign to you. You get direct feedback on what can be improved. People can be brutal, but most are nice. If you want to actually make money, you need to actually provide value. If you aren't continuing to grow your audience or money, maybe start thinking about how valuable you really are.

24:20That is it for this video, my friends. Thank you for watching. You can check the links in the description for digital economics, which is a masterclass on how to productize yourself or turn yourself into a business. And then there is also a two hour writer, which is how you learn high impact digital writing so you can really write for anything.

24:35It's not exclusive to social media, but you can grow in social media, you can just write better, you can monetize your interest. That's what writing allows you to do, and it forms a foundation of any other skill and allows you to learn it easier.

24:46And of course, there are seven Days to Genius Power Plan or other free stuff down there that will help you have better ideas, take better notes, plan your life, etc. etc. Check them out. I'll see you in the next video piece.