disappear and come back unrecognizable in 90 days (full blueprint)

How to disappear for 90 days and come back different

00:00All right. Hello and welcome to this training. As you can see from the title, what we're going to be covering today is how to disappear for 90 days and come back someone else entirely. And as you can see from the overview, what we're going to be talking about more specifically is first the overview itself, the extraneous life, rebuilding the self, proof and identity, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days.

00:19So without further ado, let's get started and talk about these trainest life. So Theodore Roosevelt is remembered as one of those

Theodore Roosevelt’s transformation

00:34almost ridiculously energetic people. You know, this larger than-l life guy who became president, boxed, hunted, explored, went to war, spent weeks out in the wilderness, and built this whole reputation around basically being tough and active and almost impossible to wear out, which makes the beginning of his life actually kind of strange.

00:56See, as a kid, Roosevelt was actually pretty pretty sick. He had severe asthma and this was in the 1800s. So obviously they didn't have the treatments that we have today and he'd have these attacks where he basically couldn't breathe properly and sometimes in the middle of the night uh his family would have to actually really sit with him trying to help him get enough air.

01:17And there were nights where sleeping normally wasn't really even an option because lying down could make breathing harder. So even something as basic as going to bed could turn into a whole ordeal. And naturally uh that started shaping his childhood.

01:33He couldn't always do what other kids were doing. And he spent a lot of time indoors and he read constantly. He became fascinated by animals and natural history and he was very intelligent and curious but physically he was weak and everybody around him basically knew it.

01:52So you can imagine how easy it would have been for that to slowly become his whole identity. I'm the sick kid. I'm the intellectual kid. My body is weak. My brain is strong. And this is just what I got. But his father, Theodore Roosevelt, Senior, didn't really accept that as the final answer.

02:13And there's this famous moment from Roosevelt's childhood where his father basically sits him down and tells him, Theodore, like you have the mind, but you don't have the body. And then he tells him that without the help of the body, the mind can't go as far as it otherwise could.

02:31So he tells him essentially, you have to make your body. And that's exactly what they tried to do. His father had a small gym built inside their home. And Roosevelt started training, weights, gymnastics, eventually boxing, rowing, hiking, just deliberately putting his body under more demand and trying to make it stronger.

02:50And I want you to imagine this properly because I think when we hear the story now, knowing who Roosevelt eventually became, we accidentally picture some insanely determined little kid who already had the personality of Theodore Roosevelt. But that wasn't the case when he was a kid, right?

03:09He didn't know the ending. He didn't know what his future would look like. Um, he was just a sick kid really doing exercises in his house because his father had given them given him this idea that his body could potentially become something different from what it currently was.

03:22And it didn't really happen in a couple of weeks either, right? He he kept going. And as he got older, he boxed. He rode. He spent more time outdoors. He continued putting himself into physically demanding situations for years. And slowly the person who had spent his childhood being limited by his body became somebody who built a huge part of his adult life around physical effort.

03:46And I think that's the part of Roosevelt's story that I find the most interesting because if you only looked at him at 10 years old and basically tried to predict the rest of his life from the evidence available at that moment, you'd probably get him completely wrong.

04:06The evidence said sickly, physically limited, probably much better suited to books than physical adventure. And yet, when we remember Roosevelt now, we almost remember the opposite person. So, what happened in between those two versions of him?

04:19Because obviously, he didn't wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and decide, okay, I'm Theodore Roosevelt. Now, I'm this tough, unstoppable person. He became that person gradually, right? First, he started doing different things. Those things changed what his body could do.

04:37What his body could do then changed what he was willing to attempt. And those experiences gave him new evidence about himself. And eventually his idea of who he was had, who he was had to really catch up. And

Why behavior can change identity

04:51this is where Roosevelt's story became useful for us because I think we usually imagine personal change happening in almost the exact opposite order. We think we need to become confident so we can start acting confidently. We need to become disciplined so we can finally stick to to something.

05:05We need to fix our mindset, get motivated, believe in ourselves, figure out who we we are, and then we'll finally start behaving like the person we want to become. But a lot of the time, you can start from the other end, right? You do something your current identity doesn't fully support yet.

05:24And then you do it again and again and you get a little better at it and your circumstances start changing and you collect evidence and after enough repetitions you look back and you realize that the old description of yourself doesn't really make sense anymore.

05:36And I think everybody has some version of this going on. You have a story about who you are right now. And a huge part of that story comes from evidence that you've collected from your past. So, maybe you think you're inconsistent because you've started and stopped things for years.

05:54Maybe you think you're bad with money because you've always been bad with money. Maybe you think you can't you can't really get in shape because you've tried five times already. Maybe you're shy. Maybe you're disorganized, lazy, anxious, terrible at relationships, terrible at business, whatever it is, whatever label you've assigned to yourself.

06:12And the annoying part is, yes, you probably have evidence for it. That's why these beliefs can feel so convincing. If you've broken the last 20 promises you made to yourself, your brain isn't completely insane for you for expecting you to break number 21, right?

06:29It's looking at what normally happens and making a prediction from it. And the problem comes when you confuse that prediction with a permanent fact about yourself. Because the evidence tells you what you've repeatedly done up until now. It doesn't really tell you what you're physically capable of doing tomorrow morning.

06:47And those are two very different things. And once you separate them, you suddenly have a lot more room to to move. And you don't have to become disciplined before you do the discipline thing tomorrow. You can think you can still think you're inconsistent and wake up when you said you would, right?

07:01You can still feel like someone who hates exercise and still go train. You can still feel socially awkward and still start the conversation. Your identity doesn't have to approve the action before you're actually allowed to take it. And then something interesting happens if you keep doing that, right?

07:19Your brain has to deal with the new evidence, too. You can't keep saying, "I'm somebody who never follows through quite as comfortably after you've followed through for 30 straight days or after 60 days." It gets even harder. After 90 days, assuming you've actually done the work, you now have three months of your own behavior arguing against that old story, and you'll probably still feel like the old person for a part of that period.

07:48And that's normal, right? You've been rehearsing one version of yourself for years and you've been rehearsing the new one for 12 days. Of course, 12 days doesn't immediately erase 10 years. So, I wouldn't constantly check whether you feel transformed yet.

08:00That's almost besides the point. What matters much more is whether you're creating evidence in the right direction. Because if you keep producing that evidence for long enough, eventually your identity starts changing almost as a consequence of what you've repeatedly proven to yourself.

08:20And that's why I like 90 days for this.

Why 90 days works

08:26It's long enough that you can actually change something meaningful, but it's also short enough that you can see the whole thing in front of you. You're not saying from now on I'm going to be perfect for the rest of my life. That's very abstract.

08:38You're saying for the next 3 months I'm going to deliberately live in a way that produces evidence for the person I want to become and that I'm going to see who I am on the other side. And think about it almost like an experiment. What happens if you stop reinforcing the same version of yourself for 90 days?

08:55What happens if your mornings change, your environment changes, your body changes, the people you listen to change, the work you do changes, and the promises you make to yourself actually start getting kept. That's what we're going to build throughout the rest of this training.

09:13And I want to make it practical because become a new person sounds cool and inspiring and means absolutely nothing unless we can turn it into things you can actually do on a Tuesday morning when you slept badly and you don't feel like doing anything and you're not particularly motivated.

09:27So let's talk about rebuilding the self. So disappearing for 90 days sounds pretty

Rebuilding your life

09:39cool, but the disappearing itself doesn't really change anything, right? You could disappear for 3 months, sit around doing exactly what you're doing now, and come back basically identical except now you're also socially isolated. So the useful part is what you repeatedly do while you're gone.

09:52And there's actually an order to this that makes the whole thing a bit easier. First, you change some of the conditions around you. Then you make a few important behaviors easier to repeat. And as you repeat those behaviors, your ability starts changing.

10:09And once your ability and behavior change, you start collecting different evidence about yourself. That's the sequence we're after. So what usually happens instead is that somebody tries to change 20 things at once. New sleep schedule, new diet, new workout plan, five books a month, meditation, journaling, cold showers, 3 hours of deep work, no social media, no sugar, no dating, no fun.

10:28And for about 4 days, they do feel like they've become this completely new person. But then real life happens, right? They sleep badly one night or work gets busy or they miss half the routine and suddenly the whole thing feels broken because they expected themselves to be perfect in the first place.

10:47Which is why I want your 90 days to be much simpler than that. We're looking for a few changes that actually matter and can survive contact with a normal life. So I'd start with the body because the body gives you some of the clearest feedback you can get.

11:00You put it under a demand. You recover. You come back. You do it again. And over time, something changes both mentally but also physically, right? You lift more. You move better. Your conditioning improves. Maybe your body composition changes.

11:12Whatever your specific goal is. There's usually something you can point to and say, "Okay, this is different now." So, choose a training rhythm that you can actually maintain for the next 3 months. Maybe that's four sessions a week. Maybe it's five.

11:24Maybe it's three because you're starting from zero. Maybe it's two. Uh, and two is already a big shift if you're not working out at all. So, I don't really care about the exact number here. I care that the number is realistic enough that you can actually repeat it for 12 or 13 weeks instead of designing the perfect week and doing it once.

11:44And before you start, decide that what the minimum version looks like. And this is really important because eventually there's going to be a day where you're tired, you're busy, something happened and the full version of the workout doesn't necessarily fit.

11:57That's okay, right? I don't want you negotiating with yourself for 45 minutes about whether today counts. Just decide now what the floor is and make it a floor, right? It's a minimum. So, don't make the floor too big. Maybe the normal workout is 60 minutes and your floor is actually 25.

12:14Maybe your normal run is 5 miles and the floor is two. Maybe you normally do a full session at the gym and the minimum is a much shorter session at home. The point is that a bad day already has a plan before that bad the bad day actually arrives.

12:27And then obviously you still have the normal version too. So on normal days you do the full thing. The floor isn't there to become basically a clever way of lowering the standard every day. Is there so that one imperfect day doesn't automatically turn into three days and then a week and then one of those I'll start again on Monday situations.

12:46And that's where you're what you're protecting really continuity. Because the change we're talking about throughout this training comes from repeated evidence. And the easiest way to stop collecting evidence is to keep restarting from zero every time life life becomes slightly inconvenient.

12:59And once you've been going for a while, there's almost there's also something psychologically useful about keeping the chain alive. You've trained for 5 weeks. You've been showing up. Now missing for no reason feels slightly more expensive because you're not just interrupting something.

13:18You're not just stopping or pausing. You're now interrupting something that already exists. It's like a whole chain of habits that you're now completely throwing in the trash by stopping for a longer period of time. And keep one or two measurements as well.

13:34Nothing obsessive, just enough that you can actually see whether anything is happening. Maybe it's your weight, maybe it's progress pictures, maybe it's a specific lift, maybe it's a running time or your steps, your resting heart rate, whatever actually makes sense for what you're doing.

13:46Because your mood is a terrible measurement of long-term change. You can look in the mirror on Monday and feel amazing and then look almost identical on Tuesday and somehow decide that you look terrible. So give yourself something that doesn't move around quite as much as your feelings do.

14:04And remember that while we're doing this, right? Every measurable improvement becomes another receipt. 3 months ago you couldn't do this. Now now you can. 3 months ago this was your weight. Now it's this. 3 months ago, you couldn't keep a training schedule for longer than two weeks.

14:15Now you have 12 weeks on the board. And once you've decided what you want to do physically, I'd move to your

Designing your environment around the person you want to become

14:27environment. So this is where people make things unnecessarily hard for themselves. They decide they're going to become a completely different person while keeping every part of their life exactly the same and arranged around the old person with the old habits.

14:39So look around and actually ask a really simple question. What keeps making the behaviors I want harder than they need to be? And what makes the behaviors I don't want easier? If you want to train early and every morning you have to find your clothes, find your shoes, pack your bag, and decide what workout you're doing, that's a lot of friction to something that's already hard for you, right?

15:04You're just adding more hard things on top. None of those things are huge individually, but they create more places where the behavior can die. So, prepare some of the some of it beforehand. Put the clothes out. Have the workout written down.

15:15Put the book where you actually read. Keep the food you want to eat in the house. And if you want to write in the morning, leave the document ready. Right? Again, none of this is revolutionary. That's almost why it works. You're making the next useful action slightly more obvious.

15:27And whenever possible, shrink the distance between you and the behavior as much as you can. So Roosevelt literally had the gym in his house. You probably don't need to go that far if you have the ability to do so, but the principle is useful.

15:40If the gym you hate driving to is 45 minutes away and there's a decent one 5 minutes away, maybe the five-minute gym is smarter is the smarter choice for this season of your life. Basically, I want more of your day to work on defaults, standardized habits, right?

15:58Because if every good decision requires a fresh burst of willpower, you're going to need a ridiculous amount of willpower. Better to make a bunch of decisions once and then let those decisions keep helping you. So if you're trying to eat differently, your default food matters as well.

16:10What do you buy every week? What's available when you're hungry and you don't feel like cooking? That's the version of you we're designing for, right? The tired version, the rushed version, the worst case scenario version, the version that doesn't want to think.

16:26And same with work. If the first thing you see when you open your computer is Slack, email, YouTube, and 12 browser tabs, like don't act shocked when 40 minutes disappeared before you start the thing you said you wanted to do and mattered most to you.

16:36Your environment is constantly giving you suggestions on what the next step is. And your social environment is part of this, too. And this doesn't mean you

Your social environment matters too

16:48need to dramatically announce that you're cutting everybody off for 90 days and then come back wearing a black turtleneck with a new personality. You can relax, but you do need to notice what starts feeling normal around certain people. If everybody around you constantly complains about work, skips commitments, drinks every weekend, spends money that they don't have, and treats every ambitious goal like you're t taking life too seriously.

17:07That affects you and it affects how you see yourself and it affects what you're willing to do because otherwise you might be, you know, thrown out of the group. Maybe subtly, but it does affect you. And the same thing happens in the other direction when you're around people who train, who build things, who keep promises, and generally have a higher standard for themselves, who are more engaged with life.

17:26So for 90 days, be a little more intentional about whose voice gets the most airtime in your head. You don't have to hate anybody, right? You don't have to burn bridges. You can just spend a little more time around the inputs that support you and support where you're going and a little less time around the ones constantly pulling you back towards where you've already been.

17:46And once the environment

Choosing the few habits that actually matter

17:53is helping instead of fighting you, the next part is really just repetition. And I really want to keep this simple because your life doesn't need 27 new habits, right? Pick the few behaviors if you actually repeated them for 90 days that would create the biggest difference in your life.

18:04the few behaviors that if you actually repeat it for 90 days would create the biggest difference in your life. And so that's basically the big domino behaviors, the ones that once you push basically make all the other ones irrelevant or not as relevant.

18:17So maybe that's training, maybe it's writing, maybe it's doing focused work before checking your home phone. Maybe it's reading. All right, maybe it's a fixed bedtime. Maybe it's keeping your calories where they need to be. Your list depends on what you're rebuilding, but each habit should have a clear reason for being there.

18:39So, one useful filter is this. If I did this consistently for the next 90 days, would I care? Would something meaningful actually be different? If the answer is no, maybe you don't need it in the challenge, right? Just because a habit sounds healthy or productive doesn't mean it deserves a permanent spot in your day.

18:58Just because you heard it from some YouTuber doesn't mean that you need to make it a part of your day. I'd much rather you see do four important things that are important to you that make a difference to you very consistently than 12 things badly.

19:10Right? Because again the entire game here is evidence. We want enough clean repetitions that you can actually see a pattern forming. And

Giving your habits a place in your day

19:22then give those behaviors a place in your existing day. Attach them to something that already happens. After you make a coffee, you read. Let's say after you wake up, you train. Before you open your messages, you write. Before bed, you do your review.

19:35It doesn't have to be exactly those things obviously, but the behavior needs somewhere to live because I'll do it sometime today. Sounds very flexible. But it's in that flexibility that a lot of the times you don't do the behavior. Most of the time it just means the task follows you around all day consuming cognitive ability basically while you keep finding slightly better reasons to do it later.

20:04And once the timing becomes familiar, you also reduce the amount of thinking that's required because you wake up and you already know what happens next. And there's less of that internal conversation where one part of you is trying to sell the other part on doing something you've supposedly already decided to do.

20:17And then you track it.

Tracking your behavior honestly

20:23Again, very simply, a note, a calendar, a spreadsheet, whatever you're actually going to use. Just some kind of a habit tracker, right? You just need a place where a completed day is a completed day and a missed day is a missed day. And you're honest with yourself about that.

20:35Don't turn the tracking system into some kind of a creativity exercise where you optimize a notion database for 6 hours um and you invent reasons why something basically counted. If you said 30 minutes and you did five, that's useful information, right?

20:54You don't need to shame yourself. Just record what actually happened. It's just a data point. And then after a few weeks, you can start seeing patterns that are almost impossible to see dayby day. Maybe Monday is always good and Friday keeps falling apart, right?

21:07Maybe your evening habit keeps fading because your evenings aren't really predictable. Maybe you always train when your clothes are ready and you keep skipping when they're not. That's where the tracking starts teaching you how to how things actually work, how you actually work, right?

21:18And that's why it's so important for you to be honest with yourself. And the only way to be honest with yourself is to stop attaching shame to missing days or missing a habit here and there. Because as long as you're attaching shame to that, you're not going to be honest to yourself so that you can avoid the shame.

21:37But if you're not honest with yourself, you're not going to learn the lessons that you need in order to make

Repetition builds capability

21:44this consistent. So this is also where something starts changing that I think gets missed in a lot of these conversations. You're not just becoming more consistent, right? You're becoming more capable as well. If you write every day for 90 days, you're going to have more writing experience than you had before.

21:58If you train for 90 days, your body can usually do more than it can do can could do before. If you make sales calls every day, you're going to recognize situations you didn't recognize in week one. If you record videos, the camera eventually stops feeling quite as strange.

22:16And because your ability goes up, some of these behaviors start costing less. The first week might require a lot of conscious effort because everything is new. But by week eight, you know where things go. You know what the problems usually are.

22:28You know how to start. and you're just better at the activity itself. And more capability gives you more options, too. The person who's never trained has a very different relationship with their body than the person who's trained consistently for years.

22:40The beginner uh writer has different options from the person with hundreds of finished pieces. The beginner in business sees fewer moves than somebody who's already dealt with the same type of problem 20 times. And as your capacity rises, your standard for what's normal can rise with it.

22:58So something you once thought was an amazing day eventually becomes an average Tuesday. And that's a huge shift because now the behavior isn't really even sitting on this pedestal anymore. It's just normal. And that's really what you want. You want the the things that currently seem impressive to just become ordinary, to become normal, normalized.

23:16Training isn't an event anymore. is just part of your day. You train. Reading isn't a special challenge, right? You don't have to brag about it. You just read. You make promises carefully before because you expect yourself to actually keep them.

23:35And that's when you know the behavior is starting to get absorbed into your normal life. And now we finally get back

When your new behavior becomes your identity

23:41to identity because all of these little changes have been adding up, right? Your body has changed. Your environment has changed. Your routines have changed. Your capability has changed. And at some point, your mind has to make sense of all of that.

23:54And this is why I actually like putting mindset towards the end here. People often start here because mindset feels like the control center for everything. And that's true. Obviously, how you think matters, but I think mindset becomes a lot easier to change when you stop asking your mind to believe things that your behavior keeps disproving.

24:13If every night you tell yourself, "I'm disciplined. I'm disciplined. I'm disciplined." And every morning you immediately break the commitment you made the night before, your brain has a weird little contradiction to resolve. You're saying one thing and repeatedly watching yourself do another.

24:26And so give your mind some help. Keep the commitment tomorrow, then again the day after that. Now, when you say, "I'm getting more disciplined," there's actually something underneath the sentence. You're describing a pattern that exists and the belief starts feeling less like something you're trying to install into yourself and more like an observation of what you're actually doing.

24:44That's much more powerful because you don't have to fight yourself into believing it. Now you're looking at your own behavior and going well apparently this is something I do now or apparently this is something I'm doing more often now. Again, there can be a bit of a lag here especially if the old story is strong.

25:02You might lose weight and still mentally picture yourself at your old size. You might become better socially and still walk into certain rooms expecting to be the insecure version of yourself or be nervous when talking to certain people or in certain situations.

25:15You might have a good year in business and still feel like you're one mistake away from becoming the broke version of you again. And that's because identity has history behind it. It has memories, emotion, other people's opinions, old failures, old successes.

25:29So give it a second, right? Give it some time. You don't have to force every part of yourself to update on day 15. Keep doing the work and just let the evidence pile up. And at some point, the old story starts requiring more mental effort to maintain than the new one.

25:48And that's where this whole thing starts getting really interesting. So let's talk about proof

Proof, identity, and self-trust

25:54and identity. So this is the final section here, and it's basically about making sure you can see the evidence you're creating. If the entire point of the 90 days is to build a new history with yourself, you should probably keep some kind of record of that history, right?

26:08At the end of each day, take a couple of minutes and just record what happened. Did you train? Did you do the work? Did you follow the habits you chose? Did you hit the minimum on on a difficult day? Just mark it down in some sort of a habit tracker.

26:20And then just keep it stupidly simple, right? You shouldn't need 15 minutes to operate the tracker. The tracker exists to support the 90 days. The 90 days don't exist so you can maintain a beautiful tracker. And keep it factual. I felt productive isn't the same as doing the thing, right?

26:40I had a busy day may be completely true and the commitment can still be missed. You're trying to create a clean record so that you can learn from it later. And then once a week, you

The weekly review

26:53just zoom out a little. Look at the last seven days together instead of judging every day separately. Where did things go well? Where did the system keep breaking? Did you miss one random workout or do you keep missing every workout scheduled after 6 p.m.?

27:06Did you randomly eat badly on Thursday? Or does your entire plan fall apart every weekend? Those are very different problems, right? And try to diagnose the actual cause. Sometimes the answer is effort. You knew what to do and you just didn't do it.

27:23Fine, just own it, right? But sometimes the system itself is just badly designed and you're just working against yourself. Maybe the habit is at the wrong time. Maybe the minimum is still too big. Maybe your environment makes the bad option ridiculously easy.

27:36Just fix the real problem. I also like keeping a short list list of specific

Keeping “receipts” of the person you’re becoming

27:43things you've done that contradict the old version of yourself. So think of them as receipts or confirmations. So I trained when I really didn't want to. I finished the piece instead of abandoning it halfway through. I kept my calories where I said I would for 7 days.

27:55I woke up and worked before checking anything. These sounds very small, true, but that's kind of the point. One receipt doesn't change your identity. 50 receipts start making an argument. And because they're real events, you can go back and actually look at them on day on the day that your brain suddenly decides you've never made any progress in your life because that happens to everyone.

How to rebuild self-trust

28:18And this is also how you start building selfrust. And selfrust has been made into this vague airy thing when in reality the mechanism is actually pretty simple. You tell yourself you're going to do something and then you actually do it. That's big.

28:31That's it. How big or small it is really doesn't matter. The important thing is that you did it and now you trust yourself to do the next thing and gradually you increase the difficulty or the size of the habit. And that's one little piece of evidence.

28:45And then you do it again and again. Eventually, when you when you tell yourself, "I'm going to do this tomorrow," there's some weight behind that statement because you've built a history of doing what you said you were going to do. And obviously, the opposite happens, too.

28:57If you constantly make huge promises to yourself and constantly break them, you train yourself to stop taking your own words seriously. And this is what happens to people that at 2:00 a.m. in the evening or in the morning, whatever way you want to see it, tell themselves, "Tomorrow I'm going to change my whole life."

29:15This is what happens. cuz tomorrow comes and they change absolutely nothing or they go hard for one day and then they break it the next day and then they learn to trust them to trust that they can't trust themselves basically. So you say Monday I'm changing everything and some part of you already knows that probably it isn't true because you've heard the speech 12 times and the way out of that isn't another bigger promise.

29:42It's exactly the opposite. It's usually a smaller promise that you actually keep and then another and another and you're slowly repairing the relationship you you have with your own word. So confidence grows in a

How real confidence develops

29:56similar way if you've repeatedly dealt with a situation, done the work, and survived the difficult parts. You know, you have a better reason to trust yourself the next time it comes up. You still don't know what's going to happen. You can't predict everything.

30:03Confidence doesn't mean you've somehow eliminated uncertainty. It just means uncertainty doesn't automatically make you useless because you have some evidence about how you respond when things get hard. And this is why real confidence is often quite specific.

30:23Somebody can be incredibly confident in business and insecure socially, confident in the gym and terrified of public speaking. That's because they've accumulated different amounts of evidence in different areas of their life. And doubt will still show up.

30:34By the way, like I don't want to sell sell sell you this idea that 90 days of good habits turns you into some completely fearless robot. You're still going to have weird mornings. You're still going to question things. You're still going to compare yourself to somebody and suddenly feel like you are behind.

30:51The difference is that doubt doesn't get the same amount of weight anymore. You can feel like you're inconsistent while looking at the tracker with 75 consistent days on it. At some point, the feeling has to argue with the facts. And even if the feeling stays for a while, you can make the next decision from the evidence instead of the feeling.

31:09And that's a pretty big change by itself.

Structuring your actual 90-day routine

31:16So if we turn all of this into an actual day, I'd keep the structure very simple. You want a few mix fixed places where the important behaviors happen. And you want enough flexibility that your entire life doesn't collapse when one day looks slightly different.

31:26And I like putting one of the most important things early in the day if you can. Training, writing, deep work, reading, whatever matters most for your rebuild. And personally, I will do it before you hand your attention to everybody else. Because the second you check your messages, email, social media, work notifications, and everything happening in the world, your own priorities start competing with 100 things that feel urgent.

31:58And it doesn't need to be some insane 3-hour morning routine either. Keep it as short as it needs to be and as long as it needs to be. If the important thing takes 45 minutes, great. Then it's 45 minutes. If it takes 90, fine. Just don't add random habits because you think a morning routine is supposed to look impressive or because you copied someone else's morning routine thinking that it would somehow make you successful.

32:19And then use a few

The evening review

32:25minutes at night to just close the day. Mark the tracker. Look at your receipts if you need to. Prepare anything that makes tomorrow easier. And that's basically it. I like having a closing point because otherwise days can kind of bleed into one another.

32:37You miss something, you say you'll do it later. Later never really arrives. And now the whole thing is floating around unfinished in your head. And the evening review gives you a clean reset. Today happened. Here's what went well. Here's what didn't.

32:49Tomorrow already has a plan. And you go to sleep. And I do think it's useful to have at

Accountability

33:00least one other person who knows what you're doing. And you don't need need to tell the whole internet. Of course, you don't need a giant group chat. Just one person who knows what the actual plan is. Tell them specifically, I'm training four times a week.

33:12I'm writing for an hour every day uh or every weekday morning. I'm hitting this calorie target. Whatever it is, if the plan is vague, nobody can really tell whether you're following it, including you. So then maybe once a week you send them a quick update.

33:25What did you say you'd do? What did you actually do? Where did you miss? And that's it. 2 minutes is enough. The point is really just to make it harder to quietly change the rules halfway through. Because we're all very good at moving the goalpost in our own head and then pretending the new goalpost was there the entire time.

33:43And if you know you want more support than that, that's obviously where coaching can help. Because one of the advantages of having somebody outside of your own head look at the plan is that they can usually see the problems you keep normalizing.

33:55Maybe your standards are unrealistic. Maybe you're making things too easy. Maybe the environment is the real issue. Maybe you're chasing the wrong goal altogether. Those are much easier to see when somebody can actually look at your specific life instead of giving you a generic giving you generic advice.

34:12So, if you want help building your own

Getting help with your own 90-day transformation

34:1890-day version of this around your actual situation, there's a link below where you can book a call with us and we can talk through whether that makes sense for you. Now, outside of whoever is helping you stay accountable though,

Why you should keep your transformation quiet

34:29I actually like keeping most of the 90 days fairly quiet because talking about change can sometimes give you a weird little piece of the reward before you've really done anything. So, you announce the plan and people tell you it sounds amazing and you get a little dopamine spike and you explain the new version of yourself you're becoming and for a second it almost feels like you've already changed.

34:53I'd rather keep most of that energy inside the work, right? You don't need everyone around you to understand the transformation while it's actually happening. Just do it. That's all. It also saves you from having to constantly explain yourself, right?

35:04Why aren't you going out? Why are you eating this? Why are you training so much? Why are you working in the morning? You don't need to turn every personal decision into a debate with someone. And then yeah, eventually other people

When other people start noticing

35:21may notice. That's the fun part of the whole disappear for 90 days idea. Somebody hasn't seen you for 3 months and they look at you a little longer than usual and maybe you look different. Maybe you carry yourself differently. Maybe your work has changed.

35:33Maybe you're just more grounded because you have 3 months of evidence underneath you and you're way more confident. enjoy that. There's nothing wrong with enjoying when other people recognize your progress. It's actually satisfying. But the more important recognition happens before that.

35:47It's when you look at your own behavior and realize, wait, I've actually been doing this for 3 months. And suddenly the old sentence you used to say about yourself feels slightly ridiculous, right? And that's really the threshold you're looking for.

36:00The old version of you becomes harder to maintain because your current life keeps contradicting it. The training is normal now. The work is normal now. The new food is normal now. You prefer it. In fact, the morning block is normal. The thing that used to require this huge motivational event has become something you mostly just do.

36:26And at that point, going back can actually start feeling stranger than continuing. You miss training and something feels off. You waste an entire morning and you notice it. You break a promise to yourself and it bothers you more because that's no longer what you've been practicing.

36:37And that's when identity has started catching up. Has started catching up. You aren't constantly trying to become the person anymore because enough of that person's behavior has become part of your normal life. And if you think back to

The real lesson from Roosevelt

36:55Roosevelt, this is basically why his story works so well as the beginning of this training. The sick child and the adult we remember looked like completely different people when you place them side by side. But there wasn't one magical moment between them.

37:10There was a process. Demand, repetition, capability, evidence over and over again. And the person changed because the life being lived changed. And that's really the lesson I want you to take from this entire thing. You don't have to sit around waiting for some internal moment where you finally feel like a new person.

37:27Just give yourself 90 days of living differently enough that your old identity has to start explaining all this new evidence. That's basically it. So, let's go over the review. We covered the overview, the

Review and action items

37:46strainous life, rebuilding the self, proof and identity, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days. First, decide who you're actually trying to become over the next 90 days. And make it concrete. Don't write something vague like the best version of myself.

37:59What does this person actually do on a normal day? How do they train? How do they work? What do they stop doing? What would somebody be able to observe if they follow them around for a week? Then you build the 90 days around a small number of behaviors that would actually move you in that direction.

38:18decide when they'll happen. Shape your environment around them. Define the normal version and the minimum version and set up a simple way to track whether you're actually following through. And then keep it simple enough that you can still do it when the week gets messy.

38:35And then you start collecting evidence. Do the first workout, write the first page, keep the first promise, put one receipt on the board, and then come back tomorrow and do it again. The whole point is just to spend the next 90 days creating enough proof that the old story you had about yourself becomes harder and harder to believe.

38:56And with that said, I hope this brought a lot of value. If it did, let me know. And if you want to work with me one-on-one on any of this, make sure to book a call from the link in the description. If you want this training along with its respective document, make sure to join the free community from the link in the description.

39:08And if you want weekly newsletters helping you improve every aspect of your life, then make sure to join the free newsletter again from the link in the description. Once again, thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. and I'll see you in the next