it's weird, but it makes all your desires chase you

Introduction

00:00All right. Hello, and welcome to this training. As you can see from the title, what we're gonna be talking about today is how to make all of your desires chase you, and as you can see from the overview, what we're gonna be talking about more specifically is the paradox of pursuit, the frequency shift, becoming the attractor, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days.

00:18Now, before we get started, if you wanna work with me one-on-one, make sure to book a call from the link in the description. If you want this training along with its respective document, just make sure to join the free community, again, from the link in the description.

00:29And if you want weekly newsletters helping you improve every aspect of your life, make sure to join the free newsletter, again, from the link in the description. With that said, let's get started and talk about the paradox of pursuit.

The paradox of pursuit

00:40So something strange happens when you stop chasing things. They start coming to you. And I know that sounds like the kind of vague spiritual advice that people put over a sunset photo on Instagram, but there's an actual mechanism behind it, and once you see it, you can't really unsee it.

00:55Chasing something hard signals to yourself and to the world around you, not just the people around you, but just your frequency in general, emits that you don't have it, right? That's the, the crazy part. If you want something, if you're chasing something, what are you broadcasting?

01:10Lack. So that feeling of lack becomes the dominant energy you operate from, and that energy repels the very thing you're trying to attract. Now, most people approach their goals from that place of lack. They want the thing for one simple reason, which is they don't have it yet.

01:26So every action they take towards the goal runs on the feeling of missing something, and that feeling turns into the undercurrent of everything they do. It colors their decisions, their energy, and the way they move through the world in general.

01:38So when the pursuit runs on lack, there's always an undertone of desperation you're reaching for something that feels just out of grasp, and that reaching creates a tension in how you show up, that tension pushes away the exact opportunities and connections that would have brought you closer to what you want.

01:54That's the paradox of wanting the desperation sends out a signal, and everyone around you can actually read it. And so the person who badly needs the job, the relationship, the deal, really carries that need in their body language, their tone, their timing, all of it.

02:10And you might have felt this in your life when- You tried something for so long that at some… And it didn't work, and at some point, you just decided to basically, quote unquote, give up, trying so hard, all of a sudden it fell into your lap, right?

02:23Or it felt like it fell into your lap. It creates a dynamic where the thing you want holds power over you, essentially. And so a dynamic like that is repulsive in the original sense of the word, meaning it pushes things away. People and opportunities naturally move towards confidence and abundance and fullness.

02:41If you chase something visibly enough, you'll become less attractive to the very thing you're chasing. Now, the deeper issue with chasing is really attachment.

How attachment makes you fragile

02:48Your sense of self gets tied to whether you get the thing or not, and that attachment creates a fragility where your entire emotional state hangs on an outcome you can't fully control. And decisions made from that fragility come out of fear of loss now, once your identity is attached to getting something, the pursuit becomes about validating your worth, your existence, That shift in motivation and what is motivating you to actually get the thing, changes how you operate to get the thing.

03:15So someone who needs the goal to feel worthy makes fundamentally different choices than someone who pursues it from a place of already feeling complete. Now, attachment to outcomes also puts you at the mercy of things you can't control, and that creates anxiety and rigidity.

03:30You'll find yourself unable to adapt or pivot when circumstances change. The specific outcome has fused with your sense of self by then, and rigidity like that kills the flexible, confident presence that actually attracts opportunities. And where it gets interesting is that if you invert the dynamic, meaning you drop the chase and you operate from abundance and fullness and confidence, the entire system flips.

03:53The things you wanted will start moving towards you, and the whole thing follows predictably from how you show up once you're running on completeness.

Operating from fullness

04:01Operating from fullness produces genuine confidence, and genuine confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a human being can display. Picture the person who would welcome the opportunity without needing it. That person carries an energy that draws people and possibility towards them in a way chasing never could.

04:18That confidence creates ease. There's no performing in it. There's no posturing. There's no trying to impress. There's no force of trying to basically validate your own existence. You're just being the person you've become. People find that is magnetic, and it signals competence, it signals stability, it signals genuine abundance all at once.

04:39Now, detachment from specific outcomes still leaves plenty of room for caring and for working hard. Detachment doesn't mean that you don't work hard or that you don't care. What falls away is the need for external validation to feel complete, right?

04:54It's the need to feel complete from achieving that thing or getting that thing. From that detached position, your work will actually improve because it, you know, not doing it to the best of your abilities or not being there yet or not getting the thing yet doesn't mean anything fundamentally about you as a person.

05:14So it will come from clarity and purpose now, your work, and you'll feel the difference in the quality of what you actually produce.

How your perception filters opportunities

05:21So operating from fullness also shifts your perception. Your brain, as we've talked multiple times, has a filter called the reticular activating system, and it decides what you get to notice. Once that filter starts scanning for opportunities and connections, you'll literally start seeing possibilities that stayed invisible the whole time you were running on lack.

05:41And so the opportunities were always there. You just couldn't see them through the filter of scarcity and desperation. When the filter shifts, the world will start to look like a completely different place, full of openings and connections and possibilities and opportunities that your lack-based perception was actively hiding from you.

05:58And the abundance mindset also makes you more receptive, where you'll be open to possibilities that don't match your exact expectations. And that openness is what lets unexpected paths and unexpected opportunities to actually reach the goal that you want to reach reach you.

The three shifts that change your results

06:14so what's actually happening here on a practical level is that the mechanism is behavioral and perceptual, when you start operating from internal completeness, when you're not attaching the goal to your sense of worth, to your sense of self, three things change at the same time.

06:28Your energy changes, so does your perception, and your behavior follows both. So together, those three shifts will produce a dramatically different set of results than the old chase-based approach now, your energy settles first, meaning the tense, grasping quality drains out and something relaxed and grounded takes its place.

06:46Relaxed energy creates space for genuine connection and mutual benefit, and people will open up around you in ways that they never did while every interaction carried a, "What can I get from this?" undertone. Now, that relaxed energy produces greater presence.

07:02You're actually in the conversation, listening, engaged, with no part of your mind off calculating how the interaction serves your goals. And that presence is what really builds the kind of deep relationships that eventually can produce the biggest opportunities of your life.

07:16So grounded energy that feels complete builds trust faster as well. People can feel that you're not trying to perform or extract something from the interaction, and that feeling of safety, or at least of authenticity in a way, lets them open up.

07:31It lets them share opportunities with you or collaborate with you in ways that they'd hold back from someone who's clearly working an angle. Now, your perception shifts as well, moving from scarcity towards abundance, where you'll start noticing more opportunities, more connections, more evidence that things are working in your favor.

07:49And that perceptual shift feeds a positive loop as well, where seeing abundance produces behavior that creates more abundance to see. Right? It's a loop. And so the perceptual filter applies directly here as well. Your beliefs about whether you live in a world of scarcity or a world of abundance literally determine what your brain allows you to see.

08:09So changing that filter through internal work is really one of the most powerful changes you can make. Now, as the new perception takes hold and the evidence of abundance piles up, the shift speeds up. Each positive experience reinforces the abundance filter and makes the next positive experience more likely to happen.

08:26So with that said, let's talk about the frequency shift.

Changing your frequency

08:29So we've established that chasing from lack pushes things away, while operating from fullness draws them in. Now let's talk about how you actually make that shift. So understanding the concept is one thing. Living it day to day is something else entirely.

08:42Now, the core of the shift is what I call changing your frequency, meaning changing the baseline emotional/energetic state that you operate from every single day. So your frequency is essentially your baseline emotional state, the default setting you return to when nothing specific is really happening.

08:59Now, for most people, that default sits somewhere around mild anxiety, low-grade stress, or quiet dissatisfaction. And the uncomfortable part is that that baseline generates most of their results. So just imagine what mild anxiety, low-grade stress, and quiet dissatisfaction really generates in terms of results.

09:20It carries far more weight than the goals they set or the strategies they implement. So the baseline operates below conscious awareness most of the time. You won't even realize your default state is slightly anxious or slightly dissatisfied.

09:33It just feels like normal life. And that's exactly why most people never think to address it, and they go on blaming the strategy or the effort while the real problem actually sits in the state they're executing from. So the baseline stays invisible for a simple reason.

09:47It's been running so long that it feels like reality itself, a fixed condition of your life. The impact of that baseline on your results is actually much larger than most people realize. So you can take one person with the same skills and the same opportunities and change nothing except their default state, and the results will look like they came

Measuring your baseline emotional state

10:05from two different people, and the calm, abundant version will win by a distance. So you can actually measure your baseline, and I think journaling is one of those tools for it, where you can track your default emotional state every day, and you'll get real data on what your frequency actually is, which usually turns out different from what you think it is.

10:24And that measurement is really the first step towards changing it, because what we measure, we can improve, right? And most people have never paid any deliberate attention to their baseline state. The simple act of noticing it and logging it daily will already begin to change it.

10:39And so awareness introduces choice into a process that used to run on full automatic. Now, tracking the baseline over time gives you even more. You'll see which inputs and behaviors raise it and which ones drag it down, and that's real information that you can actually work with.

10:55And it also saves you from leaning on abstract advice about thinking positively or raising your vibrations. Now, once you can see your baseline, the work of elevating it begins. So the tools for this are really simple, and they act directly on your emotional default.

Gratitude and evidence practices

11:10Two of them matter most here, and those are gratitude and evidence. Now, one of the most reliable tools for elevating your baseline frequency is a structured gratitude practice. Now, one piece of advice here is skip the surface level list where you jot down your family and your health all the time.

11:27Go for the deep, specific, felt kind where you actually sit with the feeling of appreciation for something concrete that happened today specifically. Felt gratitude like that will literally rewire your default emotional state over time, and repeated emotional experience is really how the brain builds neural pathways in the first place, so the gratitude needs to be specific to be effective.

11:49You need to pick out one particular moment or interaction or experience from the day and basically sit with genuine appreciation for it And that produces a much stronger neurological effect than reciting generic categories from memory. Like every day basically writing down, "I'm grateful for my family."

12:06That's all fine and dandy, but it's a cop-out a lot of the times because you're really too lazy to actually think of something really good that happened today that you actually appreciate. And no matter how your day went, there's always something you can appreciate.

12:22Because even in the worst moments, you can find something to appreciate because if you win, you win. If you lose, you win regardless. You always win depending on your perspective. So the feeling is the active ingredient here, and the thought alone won't cut it.

12:36You need to actually feel the gratitude in your body, and it's that somatic component that makes the practice transformative, and without it, you're just doing a cognitive exercise that changes very little. So evidence collection works on the baseline too.

12:50You'll actively collect proof that things are actually working out, that abundance is real, that the world is full of opportunity, And it's daily evidence collection like that that will gradually move the baseline from scarcity to abundance through simple stacking, the same way any repeated input reshapes a default over time.

13:09Now, each piece of evidence makes the abundance baseline a little more real and a little more solid. So the stacking effect compounds over weeks and months, and at some point, the new baseline will feel very natural to you with none of the forced quality it had in the first couple of weeks.

13:24Some people hear this, and they worry it amounts to basically lying to yourself or ignoring problems. Well, to that I'll first respond, "So what?" And secondly, it doesn't. You're deliberately selecting which evidence gets amplified and reinforced, and your old scarcity baseline was already running that exact selection process with negative evidence in the first place, fully on autopilot.

13:46So this is a conscious redirection of something that was happening anyway, just

Maintaining your new frequency

13:50pointed in a direction that serves you now now, the frequency shift requires ongoing maintenance, so your environment, your relationships, your media consumption, and your daily habits all keep pressing on your baseline. So if you leave the elevated frequency unattended, entropy will pull it right back down to wherever it sat before So managing your inputs is really a crucial part of frequency maintenance.

14:12The information you actually consume, the conversations you have, the people you spend time around all feed into your baseline state. And so curating those inputs intentionally is really a form of frequency hygiene, so every so often, you need to audit your inputs.

14:26You need to go through them one by one and assess which one raised your frequency and which ones lowered. That assessment is really what's gonna give you the information you need to make choices about what you allow into your daily experience.

14:39And from there, you need to set boundaries around the low frequency inputs. And you can think of them, right? Most of the time they come up on to mind immediately. News cycles, social media, specifically negative social media, draining relationships, chaotic environments, anything with extreme end of the world kind of messaging.

14:59Cutting those back is really a practical form of self-care, and it also directly protects your baseline state and by extension, your results. So the daily journaling practice itself works as a frequency maintenance tool. A morning intention points your attention towards growth and abundance before the day even gets going.

15:17And so an evening reflection on that, on the other hand, catches the drift before it settles back into worry and scarcity. And so the journal becomes an anchor for the new frequency, and each morning session resets your baseline, and each evening session locks it back in.

15:32And that twice daily anchoring is really what will prevent the slow drift towards negativity, that would otherwise erode the shift over time. Now, the maintenance compounds as well, where if you sustain the elevated frequency for a few months, it will stabilize largely on its own.

15:48So what required deliberate effort in the first few weeks will now start to feel natural, and eventually the elevated frequency becomes your new default so

Becoming the attractor

15:55with that said, let's actually talk about how do you become the attractor? So we've talked about the paradox of pursuit and the frequency shift. Now, to bring it all together into a practical daily experience of being someone who attracts, and this is the end state, right?

16:10What it looks like when the concepts become lived reality. Now, the key thing to understand is that the attractor is a state you inhabit. It grows out of the internal work we've been walking through this entire training, and no technique will get you there on its own, so you have to do some of the inner work.

16:26So becoming the attractor requires embodiment, meaning the frequency shift, the identity shift, and the perceptual shift all need to live in how you actually move through the world every day and that integration is really the final step that turns this concept into a actual lived experience.

16:43So the embodiment shows up first as consistency, meaning you'll carry the same grounded, abundant energy into a business meeting that you carry into a conversation with a friend. It's that sameness that signals to the world that this is who you actually are and the world, the universe, if you will, picks up on it consistency produces authenticity, and people can feel when your energy is genuine, and authentic energy is orders of magnitude more attractive than performed confidence.

17:10So the difference between the two can be felt immediately, even by people who could never articulate what they're actually picking up on. An embodied presence belongs in this picture too, where the quality of being fully here in whatever you're doing without mentally reaching for the next thing can also be felt, it might be the single most attractive quality a person can develop, and it will grow naturally out of the internal work we've been covering, so you won't need to force it.

17:35Now, the attractor operates from overflow.

Operating from overflow

17:38You'll give value, attention, energy, and insight freely as a natural expression of the abundance you've cultivated internally. And that generosity of presence and value creates a specific dynamic where people will want to reciprocate, people will want to help you, people will want to bring opportunities to you out of a genuine desire to be in your orbit.

17:59So the overflow has to stay natural. The moment it turns calculated, people feel the transaction be underneath it and pull back. The way to keep it natural is really to genuinely cultivate the internal state of abundance through the daily practices we've covered

Alignment, generosity, and better work

18:13so the attractor's daily actions carry alignment. You'll do what you do because it lines up with who you are and what you value. And it's that alignment that produces a quality of work and a quality of presence that naturally attracts the right people, opportunities, and resources.

18:28And this applies to more than just, you know, your interaction with people. This applies to content creation. This applies to business. This applies to everything. You become a giver, and in turn, you get back. And you become a giver because you're generous, because you believe in abundance, not because you want to get something back in return.

18:46Out of that place of abundance, of wanting to give, even when you feel like you don't have much, wanting to give and just being generous, thinking abundantly, is really what attracts the same back to you, even if you're not doing it for that reason.

19:02And so when your actions come from alignment with your values and your identity, the work itself changes in quality. It becomes more automatic, more creative, more original, more yours. That elevated quality is really what draws people to it and so aligned work resonates with other aligned people.

19:17It attracts exactly the kind of connections and opportunities that are most valuable and most sustainable, and it's that natural resonance that filters better than any amount of deliberate positioning can. And the cumulative effect of aligned work over time creates a kind of magnetism that effort can't really replicate.

19:36People will start seeking you out. Opportunities will just appear without you actively pursuing them, and the whole trajectory of your life will begin shifting in a direction that feels almost effortless compared to the old chasing approach.

19:48Alignment also builds deep trust because people can now see that you're operating from genuine values with no hidden agenda, no hidden self-interest steering the relationship. And not that self-interest is necessarily bad, but if you're doing it maliciously, then it can be bad, right?

20:05And that trust really becomes the foundation of the kind of relationships and collaborations that produce the biggest results over the long term. They survive setbacks, they survive disagreements, changing circumstances, et cetera. The connections you build from this position of alignment will keep producing value for you for years and decades and there's also a depth to trust-based connections.

Active patience and surrender

20:24These are the people who will go out of their way to help you, to introduce you, to support you, to champion your work. No amount of chasing could ever produce that kind of deep support, right? And the final quality of the attractor is really patience.

20:38A lot more than you think. So you'll trust the process, trust your own development, and trust that the right things will come at the right time. And you just have to, right? This patience stays active and confident. I'm not talking about this passive kind of patience where you're sitting around doing nothing, so it's active and confident, grounded in the evidence of your own growth and the visible results of operating from a different frequency.

21:02And patient trust and timing still has you working towards your goals every day So being patient and trusting in the timing doesn't mean you're not working towards your goals. You still have to work towards your goals every day. But what drops away is the forcing, the attempt to lock specific outcomes onto a specific schedule.

21:21And funnily enough, that relaxation around the timing often produces the results faster than the anxious urgency it replaces, which is the central paradox of this entire training. So there's a quality of surrender in this patience. You do the work, you maintain the frequency, you embody the identity, and then you let go of the specifics of how and when the results appear.

21:43And that letting go has nothing to do with giving up. It's actually the highest form of confidence. The patience gets support from the growing evidence in your journal, things working out, opportunities appearing, the shifts producing real results.

21:57You'll have all of it on paper. Evidence-backed patience holds up far better than blind faith, and that's another reason the journaling practice is so essential to making this whole approach work. And finally, patience also gives the compound effect room to work.

22:11The benefits of the frequency shift, the identity shift, the behavioral changes all need time to accumulate and interact. So rushing the process by reverting to the chase whenever results slow down is the single biggest threat to the whole system and the biggest single mistake.

22:27So trust the trajectory over the daily scoreboard. Individual days and weeks will fluctuate. The overall direction of your life will keep shifting towards results the old version of you couldn't have imagined. And so trusting that larger arc is really what sustains the practice through the inevitable stretches where visible results will lag behind the internal work you've done, which they always do.

22:51And so at some point, you'll realize that the things you used to chase have arrived. Everything you used to dream of will be there. And no perfect strategy got them for you. You became the kind of person they're naturally drawn to. And it's that realization that is the moment the entire paradigm clicks into

Review and action items

23:09place and becomes permanent So with that said, let's cover the review. We talked about the overview, the paradox of pursuit, the frequency shift, becoming the attractor, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days. First, make a list of everything you're currently chasing, go through it honestly, and mark which pursuits come from lack and which come from genuine alignment.

23:28And for the lack-based ones, figure out what internal shift would need to happen for you to pursue them from fullness. Then start a daily frequency practice, meaning spend three minutes each morning sitting with genuine gratitude for something in your life.

23:42Track your baseline emotional state on a one to 10 scale each day to measure the shift over time. And finally, choose one goal you've been chasing with particular intensity and deliberately release the attachment, to the specific outcome for the next 30 days.

23:56Keep working towards it from a place of alignment and detachment, but don't be attached to the outcome.

Closing

24:02Detach from the outcome while working towards it. Journal about what changes in your experience and your results. With that said, I hope you enjoyed this training and it brought a lot of value. If it did and you wanna work with me one-on-one, make sure to book a call from the link in the description.

24:16If you want this training along with this respective document, then make sure to join the free community from the link in the description. And if you want weekly newsletters helping you improve every aspect of your life, then make sure to join the free newsletter again from the link in the description.

24:28With that said, once again, thank you for watching, thank you for being here, and I'll see you in the next one